50 Day Genesis Challenge, Day 43

"And Joseph hurried out for he was deeply stirred over his brother, and he sought a place to weep; and he entered his chamber and wept there." Genesis 43:30

There are moments where we are stirred to our core, and the deep things of our souls find their way so quickly to the surface of our consciousness that we just can’t contain them. I’ve had experiences like this often since losing my mom back in December. A person I talk with about her, an item I find in her things that I now have, a picture capturing a moment from the past, a note she wrote, a letter she kept, a poem or an article, sometimes even just a scent... and then the emotions are there.

Last night I had a dream. Not a dream about my Mom, but about my Grandma. I called her "Nanna." I didn’t see her in my dream, but I came across something she had made, not that I ever saw her make anything like this, but in the dream I "knew" she had made it. It was wrapped in black plastic and was like a mannequin bust made out of sone kind of "banded craft materials" that I "knew" she herself had put together, assembled, and had put her heart into the making of it with her own hands. I "knew" it was hers and that she had made it as soon as I opened it because... (of all things) in my dream I could "smell" my Nanna. As soon as I realized what I was holding, in my dream I began to weep, and though I had found this "great treasure" I knew it was something I couldn’t keep. Then, in the dream, a black woman, an African woman, maybe... (I actually leave for Africa Sunday) came and knocked on my door. When she came into the room, she was so very happy to be given this thing, this treasure, this hand crafted thing that I had found. And, though I was weeping, I was so happy to give it to her because I knew she was going to use it, no... I knew she needed it. I awoke at that point, still weeping, still able to "smell" my Nanna...

So, what does all of this mean? I haven’t wept for my Nanna in a very, very, very long time, but the dream was so real... Then, I read Genesis 43 and this about Joseph and his brothers, about his weeping, and I remembered that all of it flowed ultimately from a dream, and from other dreams that God had given him...

Father God, thank You for whatever all of this means for me, personally. And, thank You for the moments we are stirred, the moments that we weep, the moments that just seem to find us and remind us that we really are human after all. Thank You also, LORD for the people we love, and who have loved us, and who have poured their very best into us for as long as they are, have been, or were, a part of our lives. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

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