Silence...
It has been interesting to me to feel and experience the peculiar way in which time has softened and stretched here in this place. The peace here has been palpable. It seems to have permeated my person, and yet held me in its grip. I have been able to breathe deeply the air here and feel it fill me with something sustaining. I have been able to see other things as I have looked from this Kansas hilltop out over the Missouri river valley . I have been able to take the time to think my own thoughts, and the thoughts that God has quietly brought to my attention. I have literally felt God here, and felt again His Love for me. A love He has for me not based on doing... But a love found in being.
Silence can be an interesting thing when you suddenly realize it has you surrounded...
Being a supportive husband of a highly motivated career woman, a hands-on father of four very active children (spanning the ages of 4mo's to 15yrs), and a dizzyingly busy church plant pastor, all afford me little opportunity to hear the sound of something I truly long for... nothing. It truly seems as if the pace, the demands, the actions and the activity of my life at all times means that my ears are filled with some sort of sound and some flurry of action or activity non-stop. Text, Facebook, Twitter and Email message alerts, ring tones, reminder tones, phone calls, conversations, interactions, appointments, group discussions, counseling sessions, visitations, family communications and instructions, praying, preaching, teaching, leading, going, doing, discovering more to do, re-do, or that was never done in the first place... all day, every day. Even in my attempts to get up as early as I can, our 4month old finds a way to capture my attention, and our 4year old is not far behind, and then our 12 or 15 year old need to be taken to some sort of practice at 0 dark 30... Then it's back home and off to work, and... Lather, Rinse, Repeat... Dude!
But the last couple of days have been truly different kinds of days for me. The last couple of days I have been at the St. Benedict's Abbey guest house, at St. Benedict's Abbey in Atchison, Ks, and my time has been my own. I have been alone, and yet, surrounded. Surrounded by the strangest sound for the first time in... honestly I cannot remember when. And, in this sound of silence, as I attended morning prayers, mass and spent time reading and praying alone... In the absence of that which I have ridden away from, left behind turned off, and unplugged from, I have discovered the sounds of silence and experienced the gift of the unheard, of not being immediately needed, and of not being instantly accessible.
Thank you Lord for this which I have needed so severely. For a day or two set apart, and for a few moments of sanctified solitude. Thank you for Lord, for the sound of silence. Thank you for a wife and a family who allowed for me to go. And, for a new church family who covered and prayed for me while I went.
And... Thank you Lord for introducing me to a St. Benedict's Abbey Delicacy... The Peanut Butter & Onion Sandwich! Wow! I can't wait to introduce it to my family. Who needs good breath when you're a Monk?!? Perhaps if I begin to eat them daily, I might just find myself alone and surrounded by the sounds of silence more often? :-)
Keep on Keepin' on...
Rob Schmutz, Pastor
The Church at Park City
Zechariah 4:10a
Sent from my iPhone
1 comment:
I think this absolutely is a necessity and all pastors, or people in general need this time to disconnect from time to time. I think it will help you and help grow and build you, your family and your church plant. I'm proud of all that you do and I admire your love for Jesus. I feel your passion and it is delightful. I connect with the way you bring about your personal message in and through your own personal story sometimes in church and It does give hope to the hopeless. It does give you more credibility while trying to reach others in your own testimony that God does love us and that through Jesus Christ we can be saved. Sometimes we can become overly exhausted and loose sight. Sleep is our resting periods and our renewal. You have to take this very seriously in creating and making good choices and or decisions. I have been blessed by knowing you pastor. My prayers continue for you and your family and your church. Thank you for all that you do!!
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